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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Circus Clown Barbie ...complete with scary face paint and scary wig"

"What's E.T. short for? ... Cuz he's got little legs"

"Congress just passed a bill that makes it legal to murder those friends who respond to a text by calling you."

"Why should a woman President never masturbate? Reports that she has her finger on The Button would cause panic."

"Did You Hear About the Man Who Went to The North Pole? He isn't doing so hot."

"I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone."

"It's 100% legal to give cops the finger. But remember, it's also apparently 100% legal for them to shoot and kill you."

"My friend thinks he's smart He said that onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face."

"I ate my dog because it ate my homework. Just kidding, I ate it because I'm Asian."

"Trump is already making good on his promise for jobs. Who else would hire Three Doors Down?"