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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you."

Next Joke
 
"Why did SJWs call out Medusa? She kept objectifying people."
"Today we put differences aside and wish peace and love to all mankind. Except for Verizon who I hate."
"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with the band The Monkees, i thought she was joking... then i saw her face..."
"Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase... ...so I could unzip your genes."
"I tried to catch fog yesterday... Mist."
"I'm like the packaging on a CD really hard to get off but it doesn't matter because no one wants you anymore"
"Wife: he has no sense of adventure. he even refuses to ride a roller coaster Therapist: go on Me: oh so you're taking her side now"
"What do you call 2 people with identical penises? Doppelwangers"
"*phone rings* Wife: Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me: *dresses baby up in Superman costume & duct tapes him to ceiling fan* Wife - ""...."""""
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