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Joke of the Day

"Happy Valentines Day. And Merry Christmas to FTD, Hallmark and Zales."

"Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask directions."

"Technology.( Based on true events) My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip."

"I bought a book on eBay called ""How to Scam on eBay"". It still hasn't arrived."

"What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down."

"Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand !!"

"After buying toilet paper at Walgreens, the cashier said, ""you'll need your receipt."" I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life..."

"Did you hear there was a blackout last night? Don't worry, we caught him"

"Jimmy: Khaleesi, of course means Queen. What's your real name again? Khaleesi (Kristen Wiig): Karen"

"If I was the editor of a magazine, I would put gametes on the cover Because sex cells."