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Joke of the Day

"After buying toilet paper at Walgreens, the cashier said, ""you'll need your receipt."" I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life..."

"What does Sting have in common with a snitch? They both sang at the police."

"Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen."

"Winning the lottery is a 50/50 chance You either win..... Or you don't"

"Let's take all the bad science jokes... And barium."

"Who is a bodybuilder's favourite painter? [Gainsborough](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Gainsborough) ^Pronounced ^""Gainz, ^brah"""

"A guy with a lisp once told me he would kill me in this very spot... He said it was my final deathtination."

"If you aren't a Nazi right now, thank a veteran."

"Guess who I ran into today, Billy. ""Who, dad?"" Your dog, son. I hit your dog with the car."

"What's the first step in making Bronco cookies? Beat em in a bowl for three hours."