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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys see the new line of Tony Romo's cologne? Every time you wear it, you fuck up and the other guy scores."

Next Joke
 
"How do you make a salad wrap? By adding some beets"
"[restaurant] DATE: Tell me something naughty about you ME: Sure [loudly chewing a steak] I haven't brought any money"
"What did one Jersey girl's leg say to the other? Nothing - they've never met."
"I've been researching marriages TIL: Death does us apart."
"Captain America's shield was made of Adamantium. What was Hawkeye's shield made of? Quicksilver."
"Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats"
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because the 7 didn't fucking bend."
"Why do sharks live in saltwater? Because pepperwater makes them sneeze."
"DETECTIVE: what do you think killed these two birds? ME: [picking up the only stone near their bodies] idk maybe the bird flu."