199895

Joke of the Day

"Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats"

"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""Dunno, but i do know its not Michael Brown"""

"News reports 5hr Energy may be linked to death. Don't know if it's an advertising gimmick or not but I bought a bunch to gift, just in case."

"Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili?? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!"

"What's the difference between an apple and a baby? People didn't freak out for no reason when I started eating an apple in public."

"""Computers will never replace humans."" - Cannibal wisdom."

"What do the Superbowl and the OJ Simpson Saga have in common? They both feature a slow, old, white bronco."

"My new flesh-light is dishwasher safe! Not sure why my roommates are opposed to it?"

"My wife caught me cheating last night and i feel so ashamed and full of regret. She's never going to play monopoly with me again!"

"Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong? He didn't like Chinese food."