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Joke of the Day

"If I had a Dollar, If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked for change, I would still pretend to have not heard them."

"My girlfriend and I met at our office outside the bathroom... Now we tell others we met on PeeHarmony."

"On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door."

"I wasn't sure about having sex with aliens Butt fuck 'et"

"""Always leave them wanting more"" is great advice for a performer. Restaurant owners, on the other hand..."

"Have you heard about the homeless assassin? Well... I don't know anything for sure. But I heard he's a roofless killer!"

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his wife? Wipes his ass."

"I heard that the Dutch have a lot of educational support for homosexual teens. They know had bad things can go when a dyke fails."

"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? If she has to chew before she swallows."

"I would like to thank President Donald Trump on behalf of my wife... suddenly the thousands I invested into Canadian dating sites wasn't so worthless after all."