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Joke of the Day

"I'm about 20% more confident when chewing gum."

"GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!"

"Why was epsilon afraid of zeta? Because zeta ate a theta"

"I got fired from the calendar factory... just for taking a couple of days off"

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? A lot. Many Hans make light work."

"What did the existential pig say? What ham I?"

"A blonde is walking She notices a banana peel a few steps away. She sighs ""oh no, I'm gonna fall again!""."

"Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!"

"""did you hear the one about the grizzly who-"" dude stop ""it's just a joke man"" i know it's stupid but- *points to my date* bear with me"

"My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he's a lamp...what does he know...."