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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? A lot. Many Hans make light work."

"I buy my own f*cking lemons because you know what? life doesn't hand anyone anything for free."

"To whom was Shia LaBeouf chanting ""*He will not divide us*"" after he got arrested yesterday? His buttcheeks."

"What's the difference between a Trump interview ad-lib, and a Person of Color? One's a tangent; the other a tan gent."

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding. He still hasn't unwrapped his present."

"If you turn pineapple upside down cake right side up, it's just cake."

"Insomnia is a glamorous term for 'thoughts you forgot to have in the day.'"

"A gay deer eats what ? HEY HEY!!!!"

"Did you hear about the linoleum factory in France that exploded? The locals call it Linoleum Blown-apart."

"One time I didn't masturbate for 11 years... ...Then I turned 12."