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Joke of the Day

"I got tired of our restroom smelling like other people's crap so I placed a chunk of mine behind the hot air vent."

"I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her."

"They say that money can't buy happiness, give me 100 dollars & watch me smile "

"""Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?"" Making people guess the meaning of acronyms."

"The store that has everything. I keep hearing about this amazing store that has EVERYTHING. Unfortunately I cant find it anywhere... anyone know where ""Participating Locations"" is at?"

"Why did the hipster drown in the lake? Because he went ice skating before it was cool."

"What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter? Thank you for your patients."

"What do you call a duck that's a drug addict? A quack-head."

"Can you think of something more ironic than being a gay chiropractor? Choosing a career in which your job is to make people straight again."

"Was Hitler really such a bad guy? After all, he did kill Hitler."