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Joke of the Day

"I texted my girlfriend Ruth last night to let her know she was dumped ... I wanted to be ruthless"

"What is a horses favourite TV show? Neeeebours"

"What was Robert E. Lee voted in his High School Yearbook? ""Most likely to Secede"""

"My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere."

"Why is Santa Claus so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas."

"Why are Asians no good a football ( soccer) ? Because whenever they get a corner they open a shop !"

"North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))"

"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children"" and thought to myself, ""Sounds like a fair trade."""

"What do you call the James Brown songs no one listens to? Defunct funk."

"Being an adult is just a competition to see how many times you can say ""storage space"" before you die."