19193

Joke of the Day

"Why is Santa Claus so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas."

"Police nearly apprehended a drug dealer selling cocaine in a tobacco store. They were close, but no cigar."

"I'm turned on by women who don't mind sucking a little dick Mine"

"My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking."

"Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you."

"Is it whisky? Two Chinese men break into a Scottish Distillery. One turns to the other and says ""is it whisky?"". His accomplice turns to him and says ""yes! But not as whisky as wobbing a bank""."

"The consequences of electing Trump... There will be heil toupee"

"I never wanted to hug someone as badly as the little old man who just ordered a ""small coffee flavored coffee"" in Starbucks."

"How do you blind a Chinese man? lay floss over their eyes"

"Straight people... are fucking pussies."