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Joke of the Day

"HEAR YE, MORTALS. AWAKEN FROM THY SLUMBER. FUCKERY DOTH PLAGUE THE LAND. TIS MINE DUTY TO- *falls off barstool*"

"Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes?"

"Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs? Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves."

"What game did the Rabbi play with the Baby? PeekaJew"

"Well, if it doesn't include antidepressants, they shouldn't call it a Happy Meal."

"*strips naked* ""Magic mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"" Cops: he knows we can see him from this side, right?"

"this is ironic apparently Joan of arc loved a good barbecue."

"""I can hear my annoying neighbor crying to Adele's new song as she throws away her empty, clinking beer bottles."" - my neighbor"

"I think it's odd that you can buy binoculars, but no heteronoculars, homonoculars nor transnoculars."

"Where do gay midgets come out from? The cabinet."