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Joke of the Day

"Where do gay midgets come out from? The cabinet."

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"what did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? aye matey"

"What do you call a stock market crash in Japan? The ""My Yen"" Apocalypse"

"I really hate faulty vacuums. They suck!"

"If I'd been around in France when Marie Antoinette said ""let them eat cake,"" I would've been like ""wait a minute, let's hear this lady out."""

"I used to think I knew what a racist was until I told Usain Bolt he was my favorite racist ever."

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"TIL 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the entire population. Title."

"When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running."