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Joke of the Day

"For a long time I thought I was Jewish. But it turned out to be psychosemitic."

"I am extremely offended by the song ""God is Dead"" by Black Sabbath. How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that? ...when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well."

"There was a depressed sausage... he thought his life was THE WURST."

"How do you get a Nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy..."

"my yoga teacher asked me how flexible I was I told her I couldn't do Monday's."

"All mushrooms are edible. ...Once."

"I applied for a job as a suicide bomber. I said I have no previous experience, they didn't seem to mind."

"Your Game of Thrones name is your biggest fear spelled backwards plus the profession your guidance counselor suggested. Mine is Snwolc Clown"

"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One to screw in the light bulb and three to talk about how Neil Peart could've done it better."

"What do you call Pixar porn? Fucked Up"