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Joke of the Day

"My roommate is a chemistry major, and plays the organ.. One could say that he's an organic chemist."

"On Average, ovulating women prefer rugged & masculine men. Menstruating women prefer men duct-taped and on fire."

"This year I'm going to put the mistletoe in my back pocket, so people I hate can kiss my ass."

"White people will swim with sharks, wrestle with alligators, and sleep with tigers.... ....but get nervous when a person of color walks by. Sounds about white."

"It's never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it's too late."

"Electric Trains Q: What do electric trains and boobs have in common? A: They're both meant for small children, but it's the grown men that end up playing with them."

"Leo and Matt Damon are talking..... Leo:wanna hear a joke? Matt: sure Leo:OSCAR! Matt: i did'nt get it Leo:EXACTLY"

"My wife keeps on calling me ""gullible"" and ""financially irresponsible"". So I beat her until she bleed to much then put her back in the closet until dinner."

"Gay deer A gay deer walks out of a bar and says ""I can't believe I blew 50 bucks"""

"My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there."