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Joke of the Day

"If I worked in a used record store I would tell every customer ""all sales are vinyl"" until I was fired. It would be worth it."

"Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex."

"5 out of 4 people don't get jokes about fractions."

"I'm not racist. I hate all races equally. Especially the 100 meter dash. All short and Olympickish."

"If someone calls me ""boo"" I automatically assume they're trying to scare me."

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a Mexican? I don't know but it can pick the shit out of some lettuce."

"An Irishman is driving to the airport While driving, he sees a sign that says ""Airport left"". So he turns around and goes home"

"I wish I was as photogenic as most puppies."

"What's a homophobe's favorite drink? fruit punch"

"Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you're 35 and realise it's a chilling documentary."