167731

Joke of the Day

"I'm not racist. I hate all races equally. Especially the 100 meter dash. All short and Olympickish."

"Gf: why have you been googling 'can you milk a hamster' Me: *wipes milk from mouth* it was for a tweet"

"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.. ..You need a parachute to go skydiving twice."

"If a movie is ever titled Reception, we know it won't be starring AT&T.; Am I right? Up top!"

"How do you split Rome in half? You use a pair of caesars."

"Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"I always disliked my hair but its growing on me."

"A reddit joke Two X Chromosomes"

"He died doing what he loved: being alive"

"Why did the polynomial tree fall over? It didn't have any real roots"