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Joke of the Day

"What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common? Their biggest hit was the wall"

"Child in a car: Strap them to the seat or you will be fined and jailed. Bus full of children: They'll be fine just throw em in there."

"I probably wouldn't even use the gym if I were in prison."

"I still wake up hoping that class is cancelled."

"I was reading a book on animal... Thats when i saw all the rampages!"

"*hands you baby* Here's your Christmas present I got it at the mall but it didn't come with a gift receipt & people may be looking for it."

"2 integrals are working out at the gym One asks the other 'What are you doing today?' 2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure?' 2: 'I'm definite'."

"Why did the Mexican... ... throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila! ... go to the home improvement store in December? Fajitas!"

"A fish walks into a bar ..and the bartender asks, ""What can I get ya?"" And in a very raspy voice the fish says, ""WATER"""

"Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat."