200734

Joke of the Day

"Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat."

"[NSFW] My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her, as she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"You know what really makes my day? The rotation of the earth"

"A man carrying his wife. She asks him to put her down. ""All right, you're an idiot."" he replied."

"7: what do you want for your birthday? Me: idk a new car 7: ok *walks away* [ 2 min later ] 7: what do you want that's under $6.42?"

"[staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]"

"I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don't. So, from now on I'm only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen."

"Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand? A: Yes Judge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995? A: Oral."

"The only time me and a girl orgasmed at the same time,nnShe didn't even know I was in the cupboard."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bitter Bianca ! Bitter Bianca who ? Bitter Bianca next train out of here pardner !"