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Joke of the Day

"I still wake up hoping that class is cancelled."

"This new fish cooking channel sounds kinda dirty. Especially, the Filet Show."

"I feel bad for the children of Vegans because no one gets found when their picture's on the back of unsweetened organic almond milk."

"What's the difference between wild Iranian Ossetra caviar and my penis? One is a delicacy (Deh-Lih-Cuh-See) and the other is a delicady (Deh-Lih-Cuh-Dee) Edit: The D"

"A girl came up to me the other day... and told me she saw me at the vegan club but I never saw herbivore."

"If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway."

"If ISIS were a Pokemon, which would they be? Voltorb; they're always using self destruct"

"What does a 9 volt battery have in common with a girls arsehole? You know its wrong but sooner or later your going to lick it."

"I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."

"What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox? If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail."