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Joke of the Day

"2 integrals are working out at the gym One asks the other 'What are you doing today?' 2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure?' 2: 'I'm definite'."

"Yes, Banner Ads, we want to check our Credit Scores. Almost as much as we want to pick people up at the airport and see our parents fucking."

"Is light a wave or a particle? Yes"

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? (Sorry if you've heard this) Christopher Walken"

"Instagram makes me feel like the world's only employed person."

"Have you heard of the band named 1023 megabytes? Of course not, they haven't made it to a gig yet."

"They're creepy and they're kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They're all together ooky The Twitter Family *click click*"

"Why did the human cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"If your Prius was a transformer his name would be Fagatron"

"Day 218 of making fun of CrossFit."