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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Mexican... ... throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila! ... go to the home improvement store in December? Fajitas!"

"Obama : The people are worried Hillary is not focused.... How is her head currently??? Bill Clinton: Well she's no Monica... But she's good."

"The neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the creepy guy & I'm the only one not invited. Weird."

"What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together."

"You have orgasms all the time. Even if you don't have sex, I know you masturbate. You're a liar if you say you don't. Sexy"

"What do you call the ghost of a Native American accordion player? Pocahontas"

"I like my beer like i like my violence. Domestic.."

"There are 2 things I love about women... Tits"

"People who leave careers to ""spend more time with the family"" must have really shitty careers or a MUCH better family than mine."

"Santa: What do you want for Christmas? Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend?"