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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump can't take any criticism... At this point he's such a pussy about it he may as well just grab himself."

"If God was a woman. Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why."

"BLACK AND BROWN Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman pinscher."

"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But, if roses were called ""herpes"" they'd make terrible Valentine's Day gifts."

"Just saw you on the beach and think you might look better in something that covers you a bit more. Like your car."

"""I ~don't own~ a TV."" *Binge-views 8 hours of Netflix in bed.*"

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

"What's E.T. Short for? Cause he's got small legs......"

"I thought I might be pregnant. It turns out I'm just three months fat."

"If Twitter is a rave then Facebook is a Tupperware party."