149930

Joke of the Day

"If God was a woman. Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why."

"What should you do if there is a blackout at night? Call the police, they'll come and shoot it."

"How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? With scare spray."

"Being a Miami Heat fan is like high fiving Starbucks employees while the locally owned coffee shop across the street boards up its doors."

"I REALIZED THAT I AM THE VICTIM After ten years of marriage, the wife asks her husband: - Honey, are you by nature a winner or a loser? - Honey, over the years I realized that I am the victim ..."

"When I die, my last thought will probably be ""Man that falcon looks pissed."""

"""daddy why did the moon turn red?"" ""because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"""

"Did you guys hear about the new exorcist movie? where the woman hires the devil to pull the priest out of her son."

"Why does Axl Rose love to carry around The Scarlet Letter? Because every Rose has its Hawthorne"

"I got a job on a farm.... It was circumcising donkeys, it wasn't too bad, 44 skins a day, with a chance to get ahead, and you could always count on big tips...."