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Joke of the Day

"After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream."

"Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"

"My ex was terrible in bed. I mean she would just lie there... Screaming, ""Noooo!"""

"Imagine Iron Man having an iron deficiency That would be ironic."

"What's the German super hero called? Ale-Man"

"What did the Mexican say with one sleeve rolled up and one sleeve not? Not even, homes"

"What do you call a fake record player? A phonygraph"

"You know what the worlds best play on words is? Scrabble."

"Jay-Z's wife took him and their kid to the ocean for a day trip It was a Bey, Bey's bae, & baby bay day."