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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones"

"If there was a game show where people have to find a phone charger before their phone dies I would win the million dollars"

"I went to my highschool football coach's funeral.... When I got to the casket, I whispered, ""You walk it off asshole!"""

"Been talking to this girl for 10 mins and she hasn't slapped me OR called me ""gross""... Hope she's ok with the names I picked for our kids."

"I rang up British Telecom, I said, ""I want to report a nuisance caller"", he said ""Not you again"". "

"At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?"

"How do you keep someone from hearing the punchline of a joke?"

"Raping someone on an elevator... is wrong on so many levels"