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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"I track my calories religiously every day. First they are on my plate and then I put them in my mouth"

"Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner."

"For every 10,000 references to incest in the GOT books George RR Martin gets to add another R to his name. (He was born Geoge Matin.)"

"TIL that 4/3 people... Struggle with fractions"

"One beer please! *This is Starbucks!* Oh, my fault, I'm Bill."

"The best part about stabbing Queen Latifah is watching all the BBQ pulled pork shoot out of her like silly string."

"The captain of a ship got into a fight with a one eyed monster... Once the fight ended and he had prevailed he said to himself ""I lost a lot of good seamen today..."""

"I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, ""That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes""."

"Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood..."