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Joke of the Day

"She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel."

"Did you hear about the boss that slept with his secretary and then fired her? He really gave her the shaft."

"Q: Why did the computer squeak? A: Someone stepped on the mouse."

"Why can't you ever build a great relationship with an archer? Because at the end of they day they don't want any strings attached!"

"How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had? He used cowculus!"

"People used to say I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.... Well, take a look at me now!"

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog... You know more about it, but now the frog is dead."

"The doctor who performed my lobotomy operation did a lousy job. I have half a mind to tell him so."

"When you run out of milk from a cow you move to the UDDER one."

"Which country has the loosest regulations on incest? Oh shit, this isn't Google."