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Joke of the Day

"My 11 year old cousin just told me this knee-slapper What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall? ""Damn"""

"Tectonic Plates One tectonic plate said to the other, ""I'm addicted to crack"". The other said, ""It's your fault"""

"What do you call Hitler underwater? Adolfin."

"I accept your apology. Can I borrow your phone? I need to cancel the hit I put out on you."

"Welcome to Syria! You'll have a blast :)"

"I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor and think, ""I'd tap that."""

"If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door."

"Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs did the also go up?"

"No matter what people think of you, walk around with your head held high. Multiple chins are not cute."

"I'm not exactly sure who Pavlov is... But the name does ring a bell."