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Joke of the Day

"911, what's your emergency? ""I'm masturbating too much."" Sir that's not really a problem. ""One sec. HEAR THAT MOM? NOW GET OFF MY CASE."""

Next Joke
 
"I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent"
"when nothing goes right... go left"
"What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity? Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes."
"The hardest part of measuring Trump's package.. Is sneaking a ruler into Chris Christie's mouth"
"""Makin all the ladies drop they panties"" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret."
"I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car"
"What did the guy without hands get for christmas? We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet"
"Happy Groundhog day, everyone!"
"A shampoo manufacturer had an accident. ..he suffered injuries to his head and shoulders."
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