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Joke of the Day

"""Adorkable,"" I say nervously, looking into the bathroom mirror. ""Adorkable. Adorkable."" A fire erupts behind me. Zooey Deschanel emerges."

"What's President Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli"

"I met a guy who said he could get a great deal on a pillowcase... turns out, it was a sham."

"Why is Six afraid of Seven Because Seven is a Six offender."

"Why do all public restrooms feel haunted?"

"Why are politicians different from prostitutes? With prostitutes, the more money you pay the more you'll get fucked."

"Donald Trump's Executive Plan for the next 4 years. 1. Make America Great Again 2. ? 3. Profit"

"What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar? A payday"

"What do vegetarian zombies eat? Grraaaiinns"

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today!"