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Joke of the Day

"What driver doesn't have a license? A screw driver."

"What is the awesomest/funniest or even smartest joke u've ever heard"

"Doctor doctor I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh I'm all right at night it's in the day I have problems."

"To the woman who keeps pounding and screaming at my door all night: I'm not letting you go..."

"Porn gives unrealistic expectations. The plumber took his usual 60 per hour, even though I sucked his cock."

"Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers? Under his buckin' hat."

"What do you call a frog in the no parking zone? Toad"

"I have a closet full of voodoo dolls created in the likeness of people I have seen with 11 items in the '10 items or less' checkout line."

"The last time I was involved in sexual intercourse was when I was a sperm."

"WIFE: Where are the groceries? ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean? *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*"