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Joke of the Day

"I have a closet full of voodoo dolls created in the likeness of people I have seen with 11 items in the '10 items or less' checkout line."

"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Pat him or her on the back and say, ""Their, they're..."""

"Autotune is the new 80s saxophone."

"To all newly married guys..... If you screw up Valentine's Day, you'll be celebrating Palm Sunday for a long time."

"Do you know why doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis? Because the definition of arthritis is inflammation of the joints"

"How many gay guys does it take to flip a car? We'll find out when the cubs win the World Series"

"People are like snowflakes. When they pile up on my car windshield, it's difficult to drive."

"Morning jog Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick up the block and put it back in my toy chest."

"What do you call a comatose Pope? esteemed vegetable."

"Why don't people give Melania Trump a break... Life is hard enough growing up as a black woman in the USA."