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Joke of the Day

"To Doo List: 1. Cockadoodle 2. Yabba Dabba 3. Voo 4. Sea 5. Didgeri"

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"My sex life is like a penguin, I don't have a penguin."
"My roommate says I don't respect personal space. That's at least what it says in his diary."
"What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Haloumi!"
"My fairy godmother asked me ""Do you want a long penis or a long memory?"" I don't remember my answer"
"I took my turtle for a walk. It's been six months and we are finally at the end of my driveway."
"Jokes about female hygiene are totally inappropriate Period."
"What do you call a foreign born communist running for President? Ted Cruz"
"I once met an ape who could use both hands... He was Harambedextrous."
"Math problem: Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? A: Diabetes. John has diabetes."