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Joke of the Day
"What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Haloumi!"
Next Joke
"If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)"
"A vagina is like a warm toilet seat on a cold day It's nice, but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."
"What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch? Paddy O' furniture"
"A mathematician was pregnant Her friend asked her: - Boy or girl? - Yes."
"The birth of my own children didn't bring me half the joy many of you seem to experience when you point out my misspellings."
"I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me"
"Giving a woman an orgasm is like riding a bicycle. I always feel silly wearing a helmet."
"What do you call it when an Irish band is caught lip syncing? Sham rock."
"Garbage day. When you find out which neighbors are drunks by how many bottles they throw out holy shit this one still has something in it."