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Joke of the Day

"I'll refrain from making any jokes about the Ashley Madison controversy... They're such an easy target, it might be considered cheating."

"There are 3 types of pain... 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!"

"""Bye, losers."" *puts on motorcycle helmet and sunglasses* *rides unicycle into an elevator* ""Can you push the button for the lobby please."""

"Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him? He couldn't handle his boos."

"They call me the pussy destroyer. I run the best Asian restaurant around."

"What's President Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli"

"What's Donald Trump's favorite sport, according to CNN? Dodgeball."

"Shout out to countless marine organisms who died, accreted on the seafloor, and compacted for eons so I could drive my Escalade to Kmart."

"What do you call it when a king rips a fart?.. Air to the throne."

"What's white and in the men's 100M final? The lines."