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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you combine a watch with a dog? An eternally suffering abomination...YOU MONSTER!"

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"Roses are red, their stems are green ... Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams."
"I bought some hard cider yesterday... but I'm still waiting for it to melt."
"You are more useless than... Stephen Hawking in a power cut."
"Why are fat people always possessed by the devil? They never exorcise."
"GTA: Online servers"
"Most Republicans are still voting for Trump. Can I be banned for this, since it's actually not a joke?"
"What do liberals and homeless people have in common? They are always asking for change."
"How do you break up with a farmer long-distance? A John Deere letter."
"Veggietales is making a version of 50 Shades of Grey... It's called ""The Artichoke Hearts""."