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Joke of the Day

"Do people who criticize the presidents daughter for smoking pot forget that the last Republican vice president shot his friend in the face."

"paid a compliment By a coworker, ""every time I talk to you, I leave a smarter man."" I asked where he left him."

"I've been seeing a lot of these lately, so here is mine. I like my steak like I like my women. White and domineering."

"""Use a spongebob quote to describe your sex life"" ""Are you ready kids?"""

"WIFE: what's going on? ME: [locking the door] I haven't had an apple in 3 days DOCTOR: [outside, stethoscope in hand] I can hear u breathing"

"I'm scared of trampolines They make me jump!"

"Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer...."

"The wife shares my sense of humour. She hasn't fcuking got one of her own."

"What's the difference between classical music and Barry white? A lot when you are having a prostate exam."

"Blood donation I donated my blood and they told me I was Type-A. Apparently it was a Type-O."