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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bunny in a kilt? A hopscotch"

"[showing colleague a pic on phone] ""NO! Don't scroll left!"" My face falls as he sees my erotic photo collection of donuts on plates."

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"War doesn't determine who is right... It only determines who is left."

"NOBAMA I've been seeing a lot of these ""NOBAMA"" stickers recently and I find that I have to agree. I hate the crimson tide too."

"My Wife and I are into S&M.. Edit: Typo: M&M. We like M&Ms."

"My overnight bag is just a backpack full of Sour Patch Kids."

"Shout out to whoever scheduled Valentine's candy to show up just as we're all giving up on New Year resolutions."

"How to end world hunger ? By letting the hungry die."

"I saved $38 by moving the fish tank in front of the TV during ""Ellen"" and telling my kids it was Finding Dory."