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Joke of the Day

"Americans should be asking Santa for better presidential candidates and nothing else."

"I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75."

"Dumb and Nobody in class... Dumb: Teacher!! Teacher!! Nobody is bothering me. Teacher: Kid, are you dumb? Dumb: Yes."

"How does a Rabbi make tea? Hebrews it."

"Why don't women have men's brains?Because they don't have penises to put them in."

"All I said is that I didn't know whether we were a Marvel or DC family and my husband and kids locked me out of the house."

"So annoying when Mexican women at Walmart pretend they don't know where the cleaning supply aisle is."

"How many jews died in the holocaust? Not enough"

"The 1920 Red Sox were completely ruthless..."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now update your Facebook status."