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Joke of the Day
"Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking."
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"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Mr Smith? Mr Smith went to Washington"
"The thing about bird jokes are... sometimes they're hard to swallow. Owl let myself out."
"Romantic cop: Here, I brought you a flower. Competitive about everything cop: Big deal. I brought you a flowest."
"HELLO, 911? I'M FALLING DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. YES, RIGHT NOW. VERY SLOWLY, THAT'S HOW. HOLD ON, SOMEONE JOINED. WHOA, NOW WE'RE FALLING UP"
"What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode? SKU me"
"What Do They Call You? You build one ship - do they call you a ship builder? NO You build on bridge - do they call you a bridge builder? NO But you suck just one cock"
"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from an ISP saying they've been downloading illegally."
"Why is it that when a woman sleeps with a bunch of men, she is a slut? But when I do it, suddenly I am gay?"
"not to brag but i finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes."