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Joke of the Day

"HELLO, 911? I'M FALLING DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. YES, RIGHT NOW. VERY SLOWLY, THAT'S HOW. HOLD ON, SOMEONE JOINED. WHOA, NOW WE'RE FALLING UP"

"*man gets run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry* *policeman informs family* ""There's no easy way to say this""..."

"Two retirees meet in a cafe. The first retiree says, ""Hey Stan! I didn't see you at the doctor's yesterday. Are you sick?"""

"What do cannibals get when they are late for dinner? The cold shoulder"

"what do you call to person who have contusion on her wrist...... computer addict :p"

"I need help! So my friend is mormon and he always makes mexican jokes to me and I need something to get him back,so jokesters of reddit. Do you know any mormon jokes?"

"I don't mean to brag, but I do all my own auto repairs. *turns up volume* SEE! THE RATTLING SOUND IS COMPLETELY GONE!"

"Everyone thought the swordsmith was very persuasive He made a good point"

"What do you say about a pig who acquires a lot of cash? He's making bankon."

"If you were an Apple product You'd be an iSore."