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Joke of the Day

"Guy walks into a DR's office with a duck on his head... Duck says ""Hey Doc an you get this guy off my ass"""

"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."

"I shared a banana with my Dad today... He had the inside bit again :( (Joke courtesy of the hysterical 'Adam Hess')"

"What do you call a chicken staring intently at a piece of lettuce? A chicken ceaser salad."

"What does a 90 year old woman taste like? Depends."

"My girlfriend told me I needed to be more affectionate... So I got a second girlfriend."

"So did you guys hear that princess Diana was on the radio last week? ...and the dashboard, the windshield, and the hood of the car too"

"Why couldn't they save the shipwrecked hippies? They were too far out, man."

"When my kids get too loud in our minivan I simply race over the nearest speedbump to make them bite their tongues."

"Are you sure we haven't met before? Because I feel like I hate you from somewhere."