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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me I needed to be more affectionate... So I got a second girlfriend."

"Got kicked off the cruise ship after three day of constantly saying ""poop deck"" & snickering."

"On the the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.. Nothing. I don't have a girlfriend."

"Why is this wet? Just one of the fun games you get to play as a parent."

"Anti-joke Knock knock Who's there? No"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a jar of peanut butter? An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"Do you want to get dinner sometime? Sorry, I said that wrong. Do you want to get me dinner sometime? Like deliver food to me and then leave?"

"Just thinking. How many MILF'S are now GrandMILF's?"

"My dad's take on 35 years of marriage. Me: ""Mom and Dad, how does it feel to have been married for 35 years?"" Dad: ""Well, it only seems like it's been 5 minutes..."" Mom: ""Awww!"" Dad: ""...Underwater."""

"How do you defend your breath mints? Tic-Tactically."