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Joke of the Day

"Are you sure we haven't met before? Because I feel like I hate you from somewhere."

"I wish I was in better shape but I also wish I could fast-forward this pizza tracker."

"You know what Trump and the Note 7 have in common? You know it will blow up, just not when."

"England lost to Iceland in the Euro Cup and got knocked out I guess you could say its the worst thing to happen to them in the past 4 days"

"Why couldn't the blind black man play hockey? Because he was black."

"What do you call gungan served raw? Tartare Binks..."

"Sometimes it's fun to randomly shout, ""Hey, asshole!"" in a crowd, just to see who turns around."

"Keanu Reeves watching a Keanu Reeves movie trying to figure out how he's in two places at once."

"In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik's Cube to solve it"

"Why is a divorce so damn expensive? Because it fucking worth it!"