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Joke of the Day

"I shared a banana with my Dad today... He had the inside bit again :( (Joke courtesy of the hysterical 'Adam Hess')"

"I tried inventing a belt with a clock on it... It was a waist of time"

"What times does the chinaman go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty"

"Self-Love Joke When I was at the zoo, I couldn't figure out why a monkey was staring at me with its hand between its legs. Then it came to me."

"What happens when you steal englishmens tea Elizabet II merges together with James Bond and Mr. Bean and creates an apocalypse machine."

"How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye."

"Saying ""to each his own"" is the best way to tell someone you respect their right to have an extremely stupid opinion."

"Me: Be back after lunch! Boss: OK Me: *texts boss APRIL FOOLS LOL* *goes home, turns on baseball*"

"You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds."

"What spice is guaranteed to make your girlfriend walk out on you? Bay Leaves"