213106

Joke of the Day

"Always note whether a politician is wearing a lapel pin of a flag, as they are the only way to display patriotism."

"What's worse than finding Astroglide on your Mom's shopping list? Finding an empty bottle in the trash."

"""Mr. Trump how will you beat Hillary Clinton?"" TRUMP: I'll win NY, Florida, Ohio, we're going to add states, Gerzona, Timbaland, Waterworld"

"Why do you get aroused when you look in the mirror? Because your dick thinks you're a pussy too."

"Will we just know how to play the harp in heaven, or do we need to arrange lessons beforehand?"

"I told you ill be there in 5 minutes. Stop calling me every half an hour."

"Where does a Martian go for a drink? A Mars Bar"

"Pavlov That name rings a bell."

"Had great idea for site for recent law grads called BarelyLegal .com. Turns out name was already taken. And their idea was much better."

"What kind of boats do smart people ride on? Scholar ships!"