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Joke of the Day

"Always note whether a politician is wearing a lapel pin of a flag, as they are the only way to display patriotism."

"I'm drafting a plan to make more guy friends. So far all I have is ""Don't say ""super"" as often"" and ""Talk about beards."" I'm super jazzed."

"There was a praying mantis in my room so I stealthily grabbed a shoe and smashed my 2nd-story window and jumped out."

"I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches."

"Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk."

"The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat...It's watching what other people eat."

"I did a theatrical performance on puns... It was really just a play on words."

"How many dead babies can fit inside a Bio-dumpster? 16."

"I need a good pun about Calvinism"

"I was arrested for indecent exposure, but, sadly, released for lack of evidence."