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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than finding Astroglide on your Mom's shopping list? Finding an empty bottle in the trash."

"There once was a man from Dupree, Whose limericks ended on line three. I don't know why,"

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I'd vote for it."

"I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed."

"My sister is gifting me some rain forest this Christmas... Is it possible to hire some local loggers or will I have to travel to Brazil and cut it down myself?"

"I wanted to tell you a joke about my favourite Michael Jackson album but it's Bad"

"There are two types of people in the world: Those that divide everything into two categories, and those that don't."

"What do anal sex and vegetables have in common? You enjoy both more as an adult if they aren't forced on you as a child."

"- How can you always be such a happy person? - I never argue with people. - That's impossible! - You're right! That's impossible."

"My kids don't drive me to drink. Can't wait until they get their license and they can though."