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Joke of the Day

"[SKYRIM JOKE] Why didn't the Nords win the theater audition? They should have acted."

"Me: We need to hire smarter people. HR: Why? Me: Is there someone smarter I can talk to about this? HR..."

"Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt."

"My resume is just an old VHS tape of the ""Life Goes On"" episode where Corky lip syncs ""Fight the Power"" for his school's talent show."

"Whenever I hear someone scream ""Call an ambulance,"" I'm like, um, ever heard of email"

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you up."

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the potatoes and the carrots, so I asked the kids... Apparently she left me two days ago."

"How did the medical community come up with the term ""PMS""? ""Mad Cow Disease"" was already taken."

"So Abraham Lincoln walks into a bar... ...and says, ""I'll have a shot."" Did I just make up a new lame joke, or has this been done before? I think I need to sleep."

"What has four legs and one arm? A pitbull terrier in a childrens' playground"