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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt."

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"Why did Lamar give money to Kobe? Because Lamar Odom"
"What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill? *Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*"
"Passionate kiss is like spider web leads to undoing of fly."
"[1st date] [to self] Don't let her know ur a boa constrictor Her: ""How's your meal?"" [i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table]"
"the logic of why the line in front of this bathroom is so long if pee, then queue"
"Why do Christian people suck at Pokemon? They don't believe in evolution"
"I aged about 2 years and counted 14,364 cat hairs on my cashiers blouse at Walmart waiting for her to ring up my groceries."
"No matter how many offensive jokes I hear... No matter how many offensive jokes I hear, this one is by far the worst. What did the lesbian vampires say to eachother? See you next month."
"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an arsehole? Barack Obama's Tie"